My last post was part one of a story about a guy called Adam who I dated for a while. You can read that here if you want to catch up. I left it after his arch nemesis had tried to kiss me in a club and I had pulled away.
I went home that night and couldn’t stop thinking about Tommo. I thought about what it would be like to kiss him, to sleep with him, to be with him. Every time I did I thought how I would be so much happier with him than I would Adam. But I’d never looked at him that way before. We were friends and nothing more.
Tommo told his friend what had happened in the club, and he told Adam. I had a call from Adam the next day asking what had happened. He obviously already knew, so I told him my version of events. He wasn’t upset with me. I had been the one who said no. But it was the final straw for Adam and Tommo. They wouldn’t even tolerate each other from that point on. My friend who was dating his friend had now finished with each other. There was no longer a reason for our new little group to hang out together. It was over, leaving me and Adam on our own. A concept that didn’t too much appeal to me.
I was a coward. I didn’t know how to end it with him, so I made things difficult for us. I worked late. I cancelled our dates. Eventually he called me up one night and ended it with me, oblivious to the fact that I had been pushing him towards that decision. We agreed to stay friends, both knowing that would never happen.
A few days later I got a call from Tommo. He apologised for his behaviour at the club and said he was sorry about me and Adam. I told him I wasn’t. He said he wanted us to stay friends even without Adam in the picture. I said I wanted that too, and we met up the next night and went out to the pub. We got on just as well as we always had. At the end of the night he didn’t try to kiss me again. He didn’t need too. Because I kissed him, and he didn’t pull away. We went back to his and ad the most amazing night.
Over the next few months we were together all the time. We were friends, but that extra added bonus. Coming from such a shit relationship I was reluctant to get into anything else serious. I knew that he wanted more from me, but I couldn’t give it. I don’t know why. Here was a great guy who could give me what I wanted. We had this close friendship, a great sex life and had a great time together. He was everything I thought I wanted, but I couldn’t commit. When I was with a guy who treated me like shit, I gave so much. When I meet a great guy, I treat him like shit.
Adam heard about our ‘relationship’ and called me up. He tried be be composed, but I could tell by his voice that he was not happy. The conversation went like this;
“Are you going out with Tommo now?”
“We’ll I heard you were.”
No, I’m just shagging him.”
Low shot, I know. I just couldn’t help myself.
One day Tommo told me he had been offered a great job in Liverpool (where he was originally from). He told me that me would take it, but if he had a reason to stay around in Sheffield then he would turn the job down. I knew that he wanted me to ask him to stay. I told him he should take the job. And he did.
I knew straight away that I had made a mistake, but t was too late. I let him leave. For a long time afterwards I thought about him as the one who got away. I know we could have been happy. Anyone who reads my blog will know that have been with my current boyfriend for many years, so I don’t think about Tommo in that way now. I know I am with ‘the one’, but it makes me wonder if we all have more tan ‘just one’.